My name is Jaderson Grangeiro, I’m 38 years old, from Brazil, and I work remotely as a regional manager for a university in Spain. I started hemodialysis two weeks ago, and I’d like to share my story.

I’ve always had a very active life. I worked on important projects, trained regularly, traveled to many countries, and always believed I was in perfect health.

Because I was always physically strong, training and pushing myself, I lived with high blood pressure for years but assumed it was normal. I’ve always been a very intense person, so I never saw it as a real problem. I rarely went to the doctor, only in extreme situations. I truly believed I was healthy.

In October last year, I developed pneumonia. I had severe shortness of breath and went to the hospital. The pneumonia was treated quickly, but the doctors kept me hospitalized because my blood pressure wouldn’t go down. After multiple tests, they found abnormalities in my kidneys.

I was discharged and told to see a cardiologist and a nephrologist. The cardiologist diagnosed several heart issues caused by years of untreated hypertension and prescribed five medications. Then I saw a nephrologist, who ordered more blood, urine, and imaging tests.

That’s when they found a stenosis in my left renal artery, along with extremely high levels: creatinine 7.5, urea 5.2, and very high potassium.

I was hospitalized again. They placed a catheter in my neck, and now I’m on hemodialysis three times a week. My doctors are pushing me to get a fistula, but I’m still reluctant, partly out of fear and partly for aesthetic reasons.

To summarize: I’m 38 years old. I went to sleep thinking I was healthy and woke up in stage 5 chronic kidney disease. My left kidney is severely damaged, and my right kidney is functioning at around 10%. The disease was completely silent. I had no clear symptoms until it reached end stage.

Everything is still very recent, and I haven’t adapted yet. It’s extremely hard for someone who was always strong and active to suddenly become dependent on a machine and face so many limitations.

I’ve been feeling things I never felt before: fear, insecurity, and a constant sense of losing control. At times, I feel powerless and deeply frustrated.

I apologize for venting, but I really needed to talk to people who understand what I’m going through. Sometimes, the optimism from family and friends doesn’t help, because it doesn’t reflect the reality I’m living.

My wife has offered to donate a kidney, but that also brings a lot of internal conflict for me.

For the first time in my life, I feel fear. Fear of complications, fear of the future, fear of not being able to protect my family the way I used to.

I’m still trying to understand how to move forward.